


Finishing Moves

by terma_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-01-01
Updated: 2001-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:22:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26501338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terma_archivist/pseuds/terma_archivist
Summary: Out of the dark caves of one of my other, less socially acceptable, obsessions comes...
Relationships: Alex Krycek/Fox Mulder
Collections: TER/MA





	1. Part I: Mr. Ass

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alicettlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [TER/MA](https://fanlore.org/wiki/TER/MA) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [the TER/MA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/terma/profile).  
> This is what happens when you write too much angst. I unabashedly stole the form from Nonie's "Ze Von I Love" series and a certain Te-sweetie didn't run screaming when the bad egg hatched. Which is not to say it isn't my fault, cuz it is

  
**Finishing Moves I**

Mr Ass   
by The Spike 

  
"Uh Mulder, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but... uh... it's fake." 

"That's not the point, Alex." 

"Well, what is the point?" 

"Sex, is the point. Big sweaty men indulging in violent sublimation of their homoerotic needs is the point." 

"Why would I want to watch that on TV when I can get all the violent sublimation I need right here at home?" 

"Hey, I stopped sublimating sex for violence months ago." 

"So? What—you're missing the violence?" 

"Maybe. Maybe it just turns. My. Crank." 

"I'll turn your crank, baby. Just let me get my hands on your handle." 

"Asshole." 

"Or your—hey, hey, watch that thing. It's not even paid for yet. I... oh... oh, now you don't have to get... oh. Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, may—maybe you do..." 

* * *

Disclaimer: uh, Mulder & Krycek belong to CC & Fox & 1013\. 'Titantron' and 'Mr. Ass' belong to Titan and Vince 'Mr. McMahon' McMahon.   
Rating: R   
Summary: Out of the dark caves of one of my other, less socially acceptable, obsessions comes...   
Author's notes: This is what happens when you write too much angst. I unabashedly stole the form from Nonie's "Ze Von I Love" series and a certain Te-sweetie didn't run screaming when the bad egg hatched. Which is not to say it isn't my fault, cuz it is   
---


	2. Part II: The Money Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Out of the dark caves of one of my other, less socially acceptable, obsessions comes...

  
**Finishing Moves II**

The Money Shot   
by The Spike 

  
"So tell me about it." 

"Mmm. 'Bout what?" 

"The rasslin'. What's the crank-turner?" 

"You still don't see it?" 

"I can't see doing that guy." 

"Mr. Venis. Yeah, well, he's no Chris Jericho but he can... never mind. I was actually thinking of it in a larger more philosophical sense. Not entirely philosophical though. That's more Roland Barthes take on the oeuvre: Wrestlers as modern archetypes. Reconstruction of Greek tragi-comedy form for the catharsis of angst into action. What I'm talking about is a more visceral reaction." 

"Mulder..." 

"Sweat. Tights. Grappling. Crowds." 

"Un-huh..." 

"A Titantron." 

"A what?" 

"The big screen there. Everything 20 feet high." 

"And...?" 

"And... and you really have no imagination, do you?" 

"I beg to differ. I have a very... vivid... imagination." 

"Alex, that's _not_ your imagination..." 

"Well, I'll be damned. And I guess _that's_ not my imagination either." 

"Bastard." 

"Mm-hmm... mmmmm..." 

* * *

Disclaimer: sigh. Mulder and Krycek belong to CC, Fox and 1013. "The Money Shot", "Val Venis" and "Titantron" belong to Titan and Vince 'Mr. McMahon' McMahon. Chris Jericho belongs to the WCW and Turner Broadcasting.   
Summary: Did you know that the new trend in Hollywood is 'professional wrestling flicks? Uh-huh. Look for 3 major feature films on the subject next year. Or don't look. In fact, maybe cover your eyes and run screaming into the night...   
Author's notes: Second verse, same as the first: a little bit louder and a little bit worse.   
---


End file.
